The Personality of Motherhood

Extrovert or introvert: which one are you? Although we all exhibit characteristics of each from time to time, most of us would identify more strongly with one personality trait over the other. For me, although I certainly have my extroverted moments I have always been the most comfortable and happy in my introverted self. From the shyness I felt as a child to the awkwardness of my teenage years and continuing into adulthood, I have never relished being the center of attention, never sought out leadership or management positions and would much rather observe group dynamics than participate in them.
Now here’s the next question: has motherhood changed your introversion or extraversion tendencies?

It certainly has with me! One classic quality of introverted people is that they love the quiet and find noisy situations and loud talkers exhausting. I’m not a big talker myself and would much rather read and reflect than yammer away on the phone. But when Bode was born, I believed very strongly (and still do) that reading and talking to him as much as possible would give him an intellectual jump-start in life. So I dragged myself out of my comfort zone and have engaged my son in as much verbal dialogue as I could muster every single day since then. Now, I still cherish my hour of silent reading when Bode naps during the day. But outside of that I have surprised even myself how second-nature it has become for me to talk SO much and so loudly and so enthusiastically – ALL day long.

Another typical feature of introversion is a feeling of not quite “fitting in” with the crowd, whatever crowd that might be. Introverts tend to avoid the limelight, keep a low profile, and would prefer to observe and study people rather than inspire, motivate or lead them. But from the moment Ian and I started our family, I have been infused with a sublime, “goddess of the household” type of feeling. I belong here more than I have ever belonged anywhere. My son, my whole little family in fact garners my utmost attention, protection and encouragement. Building them wings and helping them fly is more meaningful and inspirational to me than any personal ambitions I might pursue. Faced with the most important and challenging leadership role of my life, I have come into my own. And I’m loving it.

If you were to ask me, I would still call myself an introvert. But I never knew extroversion could be so much fun – and so ME. There’s nothing quite like a child to bring you totally outside of yourself to adopt whole new ways of being. :)

PS - For you intrepid introverts out there (or those who may love one), you may enjoy this amusing - and quite accurate - article, “Caring For Your Introvert.” Happy reading! http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/