Risk vs Reward

Taking calculated risks is an inherent part of life. Some are extraordinary risks such as taking part in an extreme sport or hazardous occupation while others such as boarding a flight, driving a car or crossing a busy road may be more mundane but are risks just the same. As we age, our awareness of risk becomes more acute and our tolerance for certain types of risk adjusts in response to our shifting values and priorities in life. So what about motherhood? Does motherhood change our perspectives on risk? Are there things you used to enjoy in life that you have since eliminated because of the perceived risk to yourself or your family?

I have confronted this dilemma head-on recently as Ian and I planned a skiing adventure holiday that we have been fantasizing about for 7 years. When we first met all those years ago, I had just spent half of a season heli-skiing and working in the breathtaking mountains of southern Alaska. Long considered the rugged frontier of the skiing industry, Alaskan heli-skiing was an experience that permanently changed my life and I would (and still do) eagerly regale unsuspecting ski enthusiasts with my adventures in the north.

For seven years we have been trying to figure out how to work a trip to Alaska into our budgets and lives and finally this season - during our five-month stint living in Colorado – we have the opportunity to make it happen. We have the time, the access and an eager Nana waiting for her chance to look after her beloved grandson for a week. There is only one thing holding us back: we are both terrified to leave our son for so long in pursuit of such an audacious quest.

In almost two years I have spent only one night away from Bode and I couldn’t wait to get back to him. Ian has spent only a few nights away, but as he has been Bode’s primary carer for the past four months Ian has developed an immutable bond with his son that has stirred him deeply and emotionally. Complicating our parental separation anxiety is the fact that for the first time since our son was born we will both be participating in a risky activity together.

In general our risk behaviour has not changed much. Ian still trail-rides his motorbike, I road-cycle on the highways and we both still ski. But it has always been one of us dabbling in the dangerous while the other one stayed with Bode. In the backs of our minds we knew that if the worst did happen, Bode would still have a parent in his life. This time we are wilfully engaging in what feels like a whole basketful of risks – flying commercial airlines to get to Alaska, flying in helicopters through snow-encrusted, glaciated peaks and skiing extreme mountain terrain in potential avalanche territory – and we’re doing it together with our son thousands of miles away. What are we thinking?

Commercial heli-skiing in Alaska (however radical it seems) is an industry that has been safely and professionally-run for decades, with not a single client fatality to my knowledge. Before I had my son, it is an activity that I embraced without a single moment of pause. But as I am still learning, motherhood changes everything! The fear and guilt that Ian and I felt about booking this trip was so potent that we literally had to talk ourselves into going. After several heartfelt conversations and a solid dose of pep-talk, we booked the trip in the end. We decided that if we gave in to our fears this time and gave up our long-held dream, what else would we then feel compelled to eliminate from our lives? We asked ourselves, what would Bode want us to do? Stay tuned. :)