The Storm is Brewing

There are dark clouds on the horizon. I can see them coming my way. And although the sun is still shining overhead, the air smells like rain and I can sense the change in pressure. A storm is brewing. Having survived the almighty tempest once before, I am ever attuned to the subtle changes in my psyche that signal its impending reappearance. Triggered primarily by sleep deprivation but nourished by a rich broth of hormonal soup, pregnancy and birth-related depression is a frightening condition to which I am particularly susceptible. And the events of the past couple of weeks have put me on high alert.

Potty Potholes and Pitfalls

Fail-proof potty motivation

I am burning with frustration. Burning. Hot and deep in my core. For weeks now we have been in the trenches of potty training, with great effort and great success. Sure, it has been time-intensive, energy-intensive, and demanding of more patience on my part than almost anything I can remember. Sure, there have been setbacks; plenty of steps forward and plenty of steps back. But until today, both Bode and I have always been able to make some sort of progress, no matter how small. Until today, I have been able to keep my cool and my patience, regardless of what happened. Today however, the whole process got the better of me. Today, I broke.

The First Trimester (the second time)

I had forgotten what tremendous upheaval a pregnancy triggers in one’s life – feelings, sensations, emotions, thoughts (hormones) turned upside down and inside out. I seem to recall my first pregnancy being more magic and sparkles than upheaval, but perhaps my recollection has faded. What is burning ferociously in my memory is the immense suffering that I’ve endured over the past 10 weeks and how much worse it was for me the second time around.

....Gives You Wings

So there I was with a broken back, lying in the bed of a third-world medical clinic - still in my bikini, still caked in sand. And there I would stay for the next two days, with minimal food or water, before being strapped to a backboard for 15 hours (the second most agonizing experience of my life) and airlifted home over 1500km away.

What Doesn't Kill You... Part 1



Ground Zero in NYC, my birthplace.

 Each and every one of us has a story; a story that largely defines who we are, a story that would fill the pages of a book. Sometimes there is one key turning point in life that changes the course of one's life. Sometimes it is a chain of events.  Often there is a decision involved; a risk that is taken, a mistake that is made.  The path of my life - at one point (restlessly) comfortable and predictable - was drastically altered as a result of one big mistake that I made, followed by an unforeseen and devastating event that cost four lives.  Here is my story.

The Decision to Have 'More' Children

One child or two? Or more? (forget it) In my case, once Ian and I decided to have children, we pretty much knew from the start that we would have two. My four-day labour did its level best to persuade me otherwise. But once I overcame the post-labour night terrors that afflicted me every time I thought about going through THAT again (actually, I still suffer from occasional labour terrors… what was that thing people say about forgetting the pain once the baby arrives? SO NOT in my case!), having number two was right back on the agenda. So the next question was, when?

The Decision to Have Children

In the past few weeks I have read half a dozen articles that all share the same theme: Generation X women have largely chosen their careers over having children. The articles have appeared in the New York Times, Fox News and of course the prominent Mommy Blogs. This current chatter has been inspired by a study that concluded that up to 43% of Generation X women have remained childless. While that number seems unfathomably high to me, I would concede that Gen X women have certainly had more choice in the matter - and substantially more freedom to exercise that choice - compared with previous generations. Did YOU ever consider, really consider, not having children?