Risk vs. Reward: The Grand Finale

The skiing we should have had :(

Well, we did it. Ian and I swallowed our fears, psyched ourselves up into a state of frenzy and forked out our cash. We kissed our son goodbye trying our best to conceal our tears and flew off to Alaska to fulfil our 7-year dream of heliskiing together at the top of the world. What a week. I wish I could tell you it had been the experience of a lifetime and that all the effort and heartache that preceded the trip was worth it. I wish I could tell you that we unequivocally made the right choice in going. I wish I could say that we had no regrets. Unfortunately, I can’t.

In every way that one can measure an experience, the trip was a failure. We were up in Alaska for 7 days, and for 7 days it was socked in, overcast and raining. No heli. To compensate for days like these the heliskiing company with whom we were booked operates a snowcat to take its patrons cat-skiing. But the snowcats were already full. A few days in we decided to remain optimistic that the weather would turn around, and to make the most of what Alaska had to offer we opted to book a boat tour to see some of the largest and most spectacular glaciers in the world located just a few hours from where we were. Sorry, all boat trips were shut down for the winter. No problem, how about a hiking trip through a vast game reserve where we could see moose, deer, birdlife and other Alaskan natives? Closed for the season. A trip to a museum to learn about Alaska’s incredible transportation and industrial history? Closed. A driving trip to Denali National Park, home of the 7000m Mt. McKinley? 10 hours round-trip in the car meant it was not an option. And so on.

Did I mention that we were delayed for four hours in Aspen before our first flight even took off jeopardizing a $2000 investment in heli time the following day? Not that it made a difference in the end, but the trip began under a cloud and stayed that way. Did I mention that while we were simmering away in Alaska we missed out on three feet of fresh powder and the two best skiing days of the season in Aspen? I felt physically sick to my stomach when I heard that.

One philosophy that I strive to live by is to never wish time away and to always embrace whatever life has to offer in the present moment. But try as we might, we were wishing that time away as hard as we could. We missed our son desperately and could find no joy in the bleak Alaskan surroundings. A few days of buoyant pep talking turned into naked frustration and deep regret once we knew that there was simply no hope of our trip turning around. A failed attempt to change our flights in order to cut our losses and just get home brought more heartache as we realized that we were hopelessly locked into the remainder of this trip from hell.

Another philosophy of mine is that everything happens for a reason, precisely because thinking this way helps me come to terms with a negative situation and take some positives away from it. And while the trip did result in some positives for other people (Bode was able to bond very deeply with all the members of my family in an unprecedented way, and for that I am grateful), Ian and I gained nothing from the trip except heartache. For us, the trip was a losing proposition in every way. Sometimes there just aren’t good reasons why certain things happen. Sometimes life just dishes you up a steaming hot plate of shite. :(