The Breadwinner

During my first 18 months as a mother, being a mum was my job. Sure, I had part-time work outside the home when I wanted it and I had opportunities to pursue my career and intellectual pastimes at my leisure, but for that first year and a half it wasn’t my income that put food on the table, it was my partner’s. My job was to raise my son, and I loved it. But there were those times when I ached for the freedom that Ian still had in his life and I was truly envious of his autonomy in going to work each day, collaborating with friends and colleagues, advancing his career interests and interacting with the world at large. I often wondered, “When will I have my chance again?” Well, I’ve just had it.


For the past five months I have been the primary earner for our little family. I have been the one getting dressed and kissing my family goodbye each day. I have been the one missing out on reading time at the library, lunching with Nana and going for walks in the countryside in lieu of toiling away at the grindstone each day. (OK, so working as a ski instructor isn’t exactly excruciating and laborious, but let’s face it, even the fun cushy jobs can be tedious at times and when you’re accustomed to having total control over your own time, work is still work!)

Like being a full-time mum, being a full-time worker again had bonuses and drawbacks. On the bonus side of things, I was back working in my favourite industry, interacting with colleagues and clients who were energetic, lively and absolutely thrilled to be where they were. I was able to obtain extensive training and achieve two levels of certification in a new field of work giving me an alternate career path in the ski industry. I had the opportunity to meet interesting new people, ski with them and directly observe the results of my efforts to help people achieve their goals. What could be better?

On the down side, I missed out on countless hours of my son’s life. I missed being around him and watching him learn and grow every day. Dada was Bode’s new best friend and I suddenly felt not quite as important to him as I was before (although Ian assures me that Mama was still #1). I came home each night to enthusiastic stories of the day’s activities and milestones, and I lamented the fact that for the first time in my son’s life I hadn’t been a part of them. Especially during the busy holiday periods when I worked for 9, 10, 12 days in a row, I contemplated whether being the breadwinner of the household was all it was cracked up to be. Suddenly I wasn’t so sure.

When my season of working came to an end, we were all ready. Bode was elated to have his mama back to himself, Ian was proud that he had not only survived the season but forged an even deeper attachment to his son, and I eagerly reclaimed my role as mother, first and foremost. Going forward I still want to work, but I will have ample opportunity to do so when Bode starts school. And I’m certainly grateful for the stimulating season of work that I’ve had, not to mention the efforts made by my whole family to help me participate in the full-time brigade. But for now, there is nothing that I would rather be than a mum, with all its ups and downs. It’s exactly where I belong. 