The Decision to Have 'More' Children

One child or two? Or more? (forget it) In my case, once Ian and I decided to have children, we pretty much knew from the start that we would have two. My four-day labour did its level best to persuade me otherwise. But once I overcame the post-labour night terrors that afflicted me every time I thought about going through THAT again (actually, I still suffer from occasional labour terrors… what was that thing people say about forgetting the pain once the baby arrives? SO NOT in my case!), having number two was right back on the agenda. So the next question was, when?

The Decision to Have Children

In the past few weeks I have read half a dozen articles that all share the same theme: Generation X women have largely chosen their careers over having children. The articles have appeared in the New York Times, Fox News and of course the prominent Mommy Blogs. This current chatter has been inspired by a study that concluded that up to 43% of Generation X women have remained childless. While that number seems unfathomably high to me, I would concede that Gen X women have certainly had more choice in the matter - and substantially more freedom to exercise that choice - compared with previous generations. Did YOU ever consider, really consider, not having children?

Kissing Hot Cheeks (and other beautiful moments)

The Power of Now.  Living in the moment.  Carpe diem! Ok you get the point.  These phrases (among many others which will go unmentioned here I'm afraid) compose the background drumbeat of my conscience: always reminding me to enjoy each moment of life and returning my focus to what is important in my little world.  Of course I am not Deepak Chopra or Eckhart Tolle or a Buddhist monk so in my opinion I am never quite present enough.  I always get caught up in unproductive mortal emotions such as anger (if that drink cup falls on the ground spilling milk ONE more time!) impatience (when IS he going to walk through that bloody door!) frustration (I've tried and tried and tried and still the stupid thing won't go!) and too many others to itemize in such a short post.

However there are those spontaneous moments in the day that happen to snap me back to the absolute perfection of the present. More effective than any self-talk or meditation could accomplish, these are the moments that laser-focus my attention, sharpen my senses and dull out the world around me.  These are the moments that I live for.  Here are my favourites these days:

Ah, Blessed Sleep: 7 Tips for Overcoming Insomnia

Sleep has always been tricky for me. Even as a child I can remember lying awake for hours in the silence of night contemplating the size of the universe, the existence of God, and the presents I might get for my birthday. It didn’t happen every night and my energy levels during the day were largely unaffected, so this occasional insomnia was not a crisis in my life. A crisis it became though, once my post-baby sleep deprivation dragged me into the depths of depression and sleep was my only lifeline.

The Breadwinner

During my first 18 months as a mother, being a mum was my job. Sure, I had part-time work outside the home when I wanted it and I had opportunities to pursue my career and intellectual pastimes at my leisure, but for that first year and a half it wasn’t my income that put food on the table, it was my partner’s. My job was to raise my son, and I loved it. But there were those times when I ached for the freedom that Ian still had in his life and I was truly envious of his autonomy in going to work each day, collaborating with friends and colleagues, advancing his career interests and interacting with the world at large. I often wondered, “When will I have my chance again?” Well, I’ve just had it.

Risk vs. Reward: The Grand Finale

The skiing we should have had :(

Well, we did it. Ian and I swallowed our fears, psyched ourselves up into a state of frenzy and forked out our cash. We kissed our son goodbye trying our best to conceal our tears and flew off to Alaska to fulfil our 7-year dream of heliskiing together at the top of the world. What a week. I wish I could tell you it had been the experience of a lifetime and that all the effort and heartache that preceded the trip was worth it. I wish I could tell you that we unequivocally made the right choice in going. I wish I could say that we had no regrets. Unfortunately, I can’t.

Risk vs Reward

Taking calculated risks is an inherent part of life. Some are extraordinary risks such as taking part in an extreme sport or hazardous occupation while others such as boarding a flight, driving a car or crossing a busy road may be more mundane but are risks just the same. As we age, our awareness of risk becomes more acute and our tolerance for certain types of risk adjusts in response to our shifting values and priorities in life. So what about motherhood? Does motherhood change our perspectives on risk? Are there things you used to enjoy in life that you have since eliminated because of the perceived risk to yourself or your family?